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The relationship between you and your nanny is nothing like a typical employer-employee relationship. Your relationship is an intimate one as they will be spending so much time in your home, so compatibility on a personal, as well as a professional level, is key.
As working from home is a reality for more and more parents, this is more important than ever. You'll be spending more time together in the same space so the risk of conflict is higher.
Fortunately, we’ve got you covered. We’ve compiled a list of our top tips on how to develop a healthy relationship with your nanny that could stand the test of time.
Have a good onboarding process in place
As we know, the first couple of weeks at a new job can be nerve-wracking, and your nanny is not exempt from feeling the same way. Even the most experienced nannies have a lot to learn, from complex issues such as your child’s temperament, to simple things like which cupboard you keep the nappies or medicine in. Therefore, it’s important to make sure they’re clued up on the basics, especially if they’re going to be alone with your children for up to 12 hours a day. It’s also a good way to make sure the newest addition to your household feels comfortable in their new environment and can go about their daily duties with confidence.
If you can, we recommend spending a few days at home in the first couple of weeks to show them the ropes, but also be sure to give them plenty of space to spend time with the children and to figure things out for themselves. We also recommend giving your nanny a guided tour of the house on the first day and pointing out where everything is kept, as well as keeping opportunities open for your nanny to ask questions when they see fit.
By giving your nanny a good onboarding experience, you will be setting strong foundations for an open dialogue throughout your relationship.
Open communication is key
From the interview it’s likely you’ll have a rough idea of how they communicate, but be sure to establish some clear communication channels from the very beginning. Be clear on how you’d like them to communicate with you in the day, for instance via WhatsApp for non-urgent questions and daily updates, with calls being reserved for emergencies.
As well as establishing a formal method of communicating with one another, it’s also important to communicate on a personal level too. When you get home from work, ask them how their day went, or how a certain member of their family is doing if they’ve mentioned them previously. Not only will this build a good rapport with your nanny, but it also means they’re likely to be more comfortable asking you questions and accepting feedback when necessary.
Update your nanny if your expectations change
If you’ve followed myTamarin’s recommendations on how to interview a nanny and how to trial a nanny, by the time your nanny starts they should have a solid understanding of what your expectations are. However, over time these expectations are likely to change depending on both yours and your child’s needs. As soon as you’re aware that your situation is changing, give your nanny as much notice as possible, with enough time for your nanny to raise any questions or concerns.
Changing your nanny’s responsibilities in any way isn’t ideal, especially if it affects their hours or pay, but in certain situations these things can’t always be avoided. If at any point you need to have this discussion, clear some time out of your schedule to have an open and honest conversation about what exactly the changes entail and why their duties are changing. Be sure to gauge how your nanny responds, and encourage them to be open with how they’re feeling about these changes. In doing so, not only will your nanny understand your situation better, but it also gives you an idea of your nanny’s needs, making it easier to meet in the middle if need be.
Check in with your nanny as often as you can
In any job, feedback is essential, not only for showing you areas in which you can improve, but also to show you what’s working well. Nannies are no exception to the rule. By catching up with your nanny regularly, you’ll be able to fill them in on what’s not working for you, potentially exposing areas that your nanny might be struggling with. Here, you can work together to find a solution, leaving you satisfied with the knowledge that your nanny will be parenting your child the way you’d like them to, all the while knowing they’re confident in what they’re doing.
It also gives your nanny a chance to pitch new ideas to you and to hear your thoughts on their input. For example, your child might have made a friend at the park today and your nanny may be considering setting up play dates with that child, but wants to have your permission first. This is a great opportunity to establish trust with your nanny, as well as giving your nanny a chance to have a say on what goes on when you’re away.
Find out what their expectations of you are
As an employer, it’s important to make sure your nanny is comfortable in what they’re doing and that they know where to turn if there are any problems or questions. However, relationships are a two-way street, so it’s important to know what your nanny needs from you too.
During your catch-up sessions, make sure you ask if there’s anything more that you could do for them. Depending on their character they may not feel comfortable asking for certain things, so by giving them the opportunity to do so you’ll be able to address anything that otherwise may not have been voiced. You may not be able to fix all of their issues, but giving them a chance to talk about them is certainly a good place to start.
Building a lasting relationship over time takes work, but little and often works wonders. However, if at any point you find yourself struggling to set the foundations for a strong relationship, get in touch with us at hello@mytamarin.com or on 020 3432 0234 and we’ll give you some pointers. We act as a neutral intermediary between you and your nanny and are happy to help you through any issues you may be facing.
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