Back to all resources
Whether you’re same sex, single, or a heterosexual couple, with modern family structures and advanced fertility technology, everyone can become a parent and start a family. In this article, we give you the lowdown on all routes to starting a family, whatever your family looks like!
All about surrogacy
Surrogacy allows people who are unable to have children on their own to become parents. This route to becoming parents has almost quadrupled in the last 10 years in England and Wales.
There are several reasons why individuals use surrogates:
- Women who have medical issues e.g. cardiac, hysterectomy
- Infertility – congenital uterine abnormality
- Same sex couples
- Physical and emotional trauma with a past pregnancy or birth. Severe postpartum depression can have a negative impact on pursuing another pregnancy
- Single men might use a surrogate
- Age - the chances of having a congenitally normal baby and carrying to term drops drastically after the age of 40 years, therefore surrogacy might be the best route to take
It needs to be stated - surrogacy can be a difficult process.
Make sure you are prepared to completely commit to the surrogacy process before you begin by educating yourself on the advantages and risks of surrogacy.
Traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy
There are two types of surrogacies: traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy
Traditional surrogacy
In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is in fact the baby's biological mother who carries the child for the intended parents. She is genetically connected to the child since she provides the egg that is fertilised by the sperm of either the intended father or a donor.
This route is extremely unusual these days due to the legal and emotional issues involved, and because of this, this type of surrogacy is treated legally like adoption.
Gestational surrogacy
A gestational carrier (also known as a surrogate mother) is used by intended parents (IPs) whereby an embryo (created from either the intended mother's egg or a donor's egg) is implanted in the uterus of the woman who carries the baby to term.
The gestational carrier/host carrier is the more preferred method of surrogacy since the surrogate is not biologically related to the child.
In the UK, the law states that the surrogate mother is also the baby’s legal mother until the Intended Parents apply for a parental order to transfer parenthood to them. This could take anywhere from 3-12 months.
The process for gestational surrogacy
The biological mother will go through stimulation of her ovaries and have an oocyte (immature egg) retrieval.
The partner will give his sperm, or the use of donor sperm, and via IVF the embryo will be created and transferred to the gestational mother.
This process can be a fresh embryo transfer or done as a frozen cycle.
Generally, the best option is a frozen cycle since there is no pressure on the creation of embryos and preparing of the gestational carrier’s endometrium simultaneously in fresh embryo transfer.
The use of donor eggs and donor sperm (also known as ‘third-party reproduction’) is a complex issue where intended parents purchase donated gametes to be transferred to the gestational carrier.
Choosing your surrogacy route
You should take your time choosing which route best suits you.
Both types of surrogacies can be time-consuming. You should anticipate spending around half a year on an egg donor waiting list before undergoing laboratory testing and mandatory counselling before attempting to conceive.
The processes for traditional and gestational surrogacy take place in very different environments.
Some people may prefer the more natural process of home insemination, whereas others may prefer the expertise provided by a clinic.
You should bear in mind if you use traditional surrogacy, your surrogate will have a biological connection to the baby.
If you choose gestational, in addition to the surrogate's expenses, you will also have to cover significant clinic fees too.
Surrogacy professionals
If you’re unsure, it’s always best to seek expert advice. There are two types of surrogacy professionals who can help you navigate the surrogacy journey:
- Surrogacy Agency - May provide any or all surrogacy services, such as case management, assistance, counselling, matching, screening, legal implications, and long-term assistance.
- Surrogacy Lawyer - It is necessary in every surrogacy to ensure it’s done legally. So while a surrogacy attorney can make sure your surrogacy happens legally, the lawyer will not provide any other services.
All about adoption
Adoption provides children who cannot be raised by their biological parents with a new family. Anyone over 21 years of age can adopt as long prospective adopters fulfil the criteria with social services, local police services, the social worker, and the adoption agency.
The process takes about 6 -12 months and once the adoption order has been granted, the adoption cannot be revoked. Adopted children typically change their last name to that of their adoptive parents, and sever all legal links with their biological mother and father.
You can contact adoption agencies online, all information will be sent to you. The agency will arrange to meet you as prospective parents who want to adopt. If you are happy to move forward with the adoption, the application process begins.
Donor (Egg/Sperm) recipient
Egg recipient
Egg recipient treatment is a type of fertility treatment for women under the age of 50 years who can't use their own eggs to have a child.
This could be because of age-related infertility, premature menopause, or ovarian failure, genetic history, or chemotherapy which leads to infertility.
Same-sex couples can also use donor eggs to have a child using a gestational surrogate. Before receiving donor eggs, implications counselling is mandatory to begin this process.
There are many egg donor agencies that have frozen eggs - and they'll match your characteristics to that of the donor.
Strict screening guidelines for egg donors will be adhered to as per the HFEA policy.
The process involves in vitro fertilisation (IVF) whereby the donor egg is fertilised with the partner's sperm or donor sperm, before it’s implanted into the intended mother.
Pregnancy outcomes are high using donor eggs since the donors are young (18-35 years), non-smokers, and have a good ovarian reserve.
Sperm Recipient
Single women, lesbian couples, and men who have inherited genetic disorders, or men who do not have sperm in their ejaculate most commonly require donated sperm.
All sperm donors are screened as per HFEA policy and can be a known donor or an anonymous donor. Many clinics have their own donor banks, or you can use an agency in the UK or abroad, as long as the screening is complete, and the donors are fit and healthy.
Implications counselling is mandatory before using donor sperm. Using donor sperm can be bought in a clinic and inseminated at home, or in the clinic by intrauterine insemination (IUI) or IVF.
As per HFEA, treatment at a licensed clinic ensures that the donor is not recognised as your child's legal parent and that your partner (if you have one) is recognised as the child's second legal parent.
Similar articles
Fertility 101 - So you’ve decided to have a baby - now what?
Getting pregnant isn't always as straightforward as we’d like, read on to learn about what to look out for when trying to conceive. Minimise delays by learning about your body in the hopes of getting pregnant fast.
Read post
Pros and Cons of Over-the-counter Fertility Tests
With a huge demand for at-home fertility tests recently, this article looks at the pros and cons of them.
Read post
Fertility 101 - The Fertility Journey
An overview of the fertility journey and fertility cycle, how they affect ovulation, and when ovulation happens. If you’re wondering: what's a cycle? When will I ovulate? IVF commitments? Read on to find out.
Read post
How to talk to your employees about (in)fertility
This article covers how employers can approach someone experiencing infertility in the workplace. And how to act and what to do following someone telling you they’re infertile.
Read post
